Thoughts...pt. 3 (A Time of Healing)

Today started a new time period for me...a time of healing. I don't know exactly what the future holds but I know I can't sit back and reflect on my past. I have to look forward. If I don't then I'll never be able to grow as a person. Some people don't believe that you can mature in a couple of days: I believe that it's very possible. I just have to keep on moving though...no matter how painful it is to have to leave some things behind. I guess that's a part of growing up though. But why does growing up have to be so hard??? Well...life is hard. The grooming aspects that make you into the person you are tend to be memorable, and hopefully I'll be able to look back on this and laugh or whatever. But as for now, I've said my peace. I said exactly how I felt. I knew if I didn't at least get how I felt off of my chest then I'd never be able to move forward. But I said exactly that. Now the situation is out of my hands. I can't do anything to convince anyone that I've matured so I just have to show it through my actions now. If people see that then fine...if they don't, then that's fine too. I just know I have gone through a personal change in these trying times and now I feel like a better individual. I can look myself in the mirror and say I honestly handled it in the best of ways that I physically could. Yes...I made my mistakes along the way, but I did what I could to try and correct those problems. I guess they were just greater than what I could do could solve though. But nonetheless...I'll never forget these past couple of months. Yes...I enjoyed those 4 months...good times and bad...and I'll miss them. But what's in the past is in the past and what may or may not come is to yet be determined. I know some of you reading may think I've said the same thing in different ways today, but yet and still, these are just the things that I have to get off of my chest or they will bog me down eternally. I can even honestly throw out the honest statement that I love Romeka Morton and what she did for me...she helped me to grow as a person and for that I'm eternally grateful. Still do...even if some people believe that I shouldn't or that I don't or that it's "bullshit" for me to still love her and want to be friends with her. I know how I feel and that won't change, but this is only the beginning of the healing process and only time will tell what comes for me...and for her for that matter, but whatever comes, I'm wishing the best for her, since honestly...I can still say that her happiness is still more important than mine. I hope everything that she wants to happen happens in the exact way that is most beneficial and positive for her. As for me...I just hope things work out for the best and that I learn from them. I have already learned a lot, but I expect to continue to learn and grow as a person. I just hope I'm bettered from this situation...so only time will tell...