Just to let you know how I feel...

I'm writing this to someone. I hope they see it. That is my natural intention. But anyway...to the point. I make dumb decisions. Decisions that sometimes seem to make no sense whatsoever. Why? I'm not sure. Probably because I am dumb in certain areas of life. I don't know why I do some of the stuff I do but I know that it happened unfortunately. Yes...I will admit, I am a man and men make dumb ass decisions sometimes for no apparent reason but that does not change the way I feel about the situation or the way that I want things to go. Yes, I do still want things to work. Yes, I have some me work to do. I'm not a finished product. Like I tell you all the time, I'm 18. I haven't figured it all out yet. I'm not perfect. I'm trying to get better. Yes...it may have been dumb but at the time of the incident I was being...for lack of a better word, a dumb ass. But yet and still, how I feel will never change and I apologize for being an idiot and making rash decisions. God knows that I don't know why I do some of these things that I do that in retrospect make no sense. Yes, I love you. A lot. No, I do not want to lose you for anything. Yes, I do want things to work, and I know for things to work, I have to do somethings with myself. I know I have my problems and idiosyncrasies about myself. I just hope you can find it in your heart somewhere that you can forgive me for being an idiot and really think about everything that I've told you over the past...months I'd guess. Anyway...God bless and know that even though I do dumb stuff, I still love you.