New Attitude

Yesterday and earlier today, I was feeling like I was in one of the worst predicaments in my entire lifetime. I literally thought that everything was all over and that I should give up hope. But she was there...she sat and talked to me and actually listened to me...held me and everything and told me that everything would be alright and that I don't need to keep stuff bottled up because it just leads to worse problems. Since I know it's my real friends and people that care about me that read my blog, I can put this: I was drinking until I'd pass out and smoking weed every weekend to escape the pain of life. She would wake up out of her sleep and sit and talk to me (even in the wee hours of the morning) while I was in a messed up state because the alcohol didn't do anything but make all of the repressed emotions come out. Now that's love if I've never seen it. She actually cares about me and today...she actually said the "l" word. Yes...the love word. But...for some strange reason...I'm not ashamed to say love anymore. Why??? I love her too...as strange as it may seem. I was just feeling like no one cared and like I was lonely here but she's shown me that even if I don't have anyone here that I have her, which is good. I thank God for her and I promise that I won't be doing anything to mess this up. She's taken my negative outlook and my "I'm just about to give up attitude" and changed it to a positive and "I know I can and will do this" type attitude. So yes...Romeka...this note is about you and yes...I do love you. Thanks for being there for me. :-)