One of the Greatest Stories Ever Told ...

So ... this is actually the FULL story of what was on my Facebook status. This story is always better when *someone else* *wink wink* tells me from *her* perspective. So ... these two 11th graders are both in Bridge Builders in Memphis. Just so happens that the Special Olympics volunteer project was that day && they were both going to be there. During the basketball tournament, the dude looks over to the opposing team sideline && realizes that he sees one of the most gorgeous girls he's ever seen in a yellow shirt && some sandals. So during one of the breaks in the action during the game, he decides to go talk to her, but not just go talk to her in any kind of way. He decides to slick be an ass && talk about how his team is winning && how her's is losing. They begin to get into a conversation about how one of the players on the dude's team is mean, but the dude stands up for his team. When they leave from this conversation, the girl has the understanding that this dude is an asshole && that she can't stand him, but she thinks he's cute, so it was on her mind the WHOLE day to find this dude && tell him off. Get close to the end of the day, the dude finds the girl again, but this time with an entirely different approach. They both sat in the bleachers together with another group of people && the dude slickly asked for the girl's number. Guessing because he was cute && not acting like an asshole now, the girl gave him the number. They started to text && the girl actually realized that the dude was a really nice guy. He just wanted to get her attention somehow. And from then on, the story is history. These two became the best of friends. Now ... odd twist to the story is that the dude ended up loving the girl as more than a best friend, so ... my curious thoughts wonder ... is that the end of the story for these two ... ??? Or is there still more to be written ... ??? Only time will tell, but it's still my favorite story.

Living Will

My last blog was the realest thing I ever wrote ... so I guess I'll call this ONE of the realest things I'll ever say. I guess my looming nightmares are what gave me the urge to write this ... && even though I don't own much, the little that I DO own (if anything were to ever happen to me), I figure I may as well leave it to someone. As far as physical possessions, I don't care who takes them. It's what I have to offer that's NOT physical that I'm worried about giving a proper home to if I am to ever have something to happen to me earlier than expected. First of all, I leave my brain && thirst for knowledge to my lil' brothers (or the people I call my lil' brothers) Fatboy & Jeremy. Y'all keep y'all head up man ... make me proud to honestly call y'all my lil' brothers. I leave my mannerisms to my lil' brother Kylan ... such as my responses to peoples' comments, etc. I'm sure he'll make good use of them as he comes of age. I leave my thought process to my lil' brothers as well. I leave my common sense to my best friend CJ ... he could use it sometimes when making some of the decisions he makes. I leave my caring spirit with all of my close friends (Toya, LaShonda, Jessica, Elizabeth, & whatever other important female friend I may have not mentioned) ... y'all mean the world to me. I leave my love for all of my niggas (no homo) to all of my niggas (CJ, Justin, Darren, Cam, Evan, & whoever I may have forgotten in that department too). I can't think of anything else ... oh yeah ... last but not least, I leave my heart && ALL of the love in it to Toya ... thanks for everything ... I can't thank you enough or describe how grateful I am that God put you in my life. I love ya ... always will ... && with that being said, I bring this blog to a close. Until the next time y'all ...

"This is my living will ... no, not a suicide note. Just letting you know how a nigga feel ..." -All Star a.k.a. Starlito-

Realest Thing I'll Ever Write ...

This is a throwback post really ... a post from awhile ago ... well a post that should've been posted a long time ago ... but I never did. So ... here it goes ... (I'm writing it like I would have been writing it in the past at that time ... so think of it as like a reflection I guess ...)

"I have a friend. A best friend actually. She asks me for advice a lot and I don't mind because she's always been there for me when I needed advice. Sometimes, she asks me for advice about guy s... and why guys are the way they are and why bad things keep happening to her with these guys ... and she's the sweetest girl on the planet so you'd think that God would hook her up with a good one here ... but I guess not. Every time she says something to me about some grimey stuff that a guy has done, I get mad ... like ready to go find someone and beat ass mad ... but she always tells me it's not that crucial. I really actually up and grabbed the keys one day and was almost ready to hit the car and drive ALL the way out that way ... (she stays like on the other side of the city from me) but that didn't bother me. I just know I was ready to beat ass. But I didn't ... and the more she asked me for advice, the more I used to pray that God would hook her up with a non-dog negro. But after awhile ... I started to think ... "If I was blessed like these people to be given a chance with this girl, I KNOW all of this wouldn't happen ... I know I'd cherish her like the queen that she deserves to be cherished like ..."

So ... I guess the bigger picture here ... has anyone ever been placed in a predicament where you KNOW that you'd do a lot better for someone and wish that you had that opportunity to do so ... but can't? And it eternally eats at you on the inside ... and no matter how much time passes, it still comes back to haunt you ... years later? Well ... hey ... I know they say everything happens for a reason, but I guess this is one of those mysteries of life that will never get answered ...

Been a minute ...

What's good world ??? Been a minute since my last post ... a lot of stuff has changed in the small amount of time it's been since my last post. Last time, I was talking about this rough decision I had to make, and it looks like I'll be at UTK next year. No offense to my Fisk fam ... I'll miss all of y'all (real talk) but I won't miss that "gabbage" administration that they have. Everything is setting up well ... I've made a couple of new friends that I mess with tough now and I have a job (maybe two) for the summer. Trying to stack that money pretty much ... get what I can. Hey ... it's good to have money to sit on and have nothing to do with it. It kinda gives you a sense of pride I guess. But yeah ... the only time I really chill is on the weekend since I work 40+ hours a week ... but it's all good. I'm making "guala" ... lol. But yeah ... I'm feeling generally pretty good about life right now. Can't complain too much ... don't have much to complain about. It's looking like it's setting up to be a good finish to these college years ... just gotta be on my grizzy and finish it out strong. I'm sure I'll have some speed bumps here and there but hey ... I'm facing them head on. Looking at life from a different perspective now ... all positives. No more negatives. Been through the trenches this past year and now that I'm out, I never plan on going down in them again. I'll keep y'all posted with the admission decision ... 'till then, deuces.

"Only place you can go when you've hit rock bottom is up ... so ... guess it's ascension time ..."

Choices

It's been a little minute since my last blog ... been through a lot recently and a lot has changed. I'm now faced with a difficult decision ... I either stay here at Fisk and continue to be in this "rut" and just hope things get better ... or I can leave Fisk and go to UTK ... where a lot of things (other than money) are in place. This is a difficult decision because my frat fam (Alpha Phi Omega) is here at Fisk ... and I love them a lot. They've been the main reason I've made it through this year. Not to mention GMH ... and the rest of the people I chill with regularly (Mike, Kenny, James, T, etc.) ... the people I call the "Usual Suspects". It's a hard decision to make ... on one hand, I know that I'm having the hardest time in the world here adjusting and making it through ... but I'm close to a lot of people here. But then on the other hand, I'm cool with a lot of people at UTK too ... and not to mention I'd be living with my brother, which would make a lot less stress on him and would help him out a lot (since I'd be helping with rent). It's a tough call to make, and as time winds down I have to make that decision FASTER ... but I still haven't come to a conclusion yet ... I just wish God would send me a sign ...

A Curious Moment ...

I'm curious ... (as the title would clearly imply) ... but I've realized something. Most of the time, I'm cool with all of the dudes that females primarily like to talk to ... (I won't mention any names) ... and dually I'm cool with the females that talk to them. I'm just saying ... this is slick how I got two of my three best friends (by giving them advice and just being there for them). So ... my curiosity is ... should I really feel like a best friend or a missing link ??? This isn't a knock to my best friends ... I'm just curious that's all ... but it's all cool. I'm not even mad ... I'm just in a state of critical thought ... but anyway. Signing out again for the moment ... deuces.

-J. Burse-

Update

So ... I haven't posted in awhile ... a little more than a month to be exact ... I've been pretty good. Or at least I guess I have. I mean I don't have too many complaints. Things are going pretty well. I've got a car at school now. I'm doing better in school than I was last semester, and I've maintained my sanity, so all is well. At least for the moment. School's almost out though so after this school year is over, I'll be fine for real. That's really when I have to make up my mind on this decision of whether I'm going to transfer or not too. I can't get too deep in Fisk before making that consideration because the credits here don't transfer to other places, so I've got a second to think about it. I'm actually going to go to the Office of Admission and get the paperwork just in case so I'll have it if I need it. I've got a job now working at A&F too so I won't have to be so broke anymore ... but it's all good. This is just kind of one of my more laid back blogs so ... yeah ... no deep thoughts in here. At least not this time. So ... until next time when I DO have some deep thoughts, deuces.

-Joshua O. Burse-